Because I hate your sanity and want it gone…
…a gift.
1) Suggest that any work of comic literature is not, in fact, the equal or superior to every other classic of world literature, up to and including Shakespeare. If you do, you’re being a tedious literature elitist, and missing the fact that Shakespeare is popular mainly for the fart jokes.
2) Suggest that anybody trying to keep certain not-really-for-kids comics out of the hands of 11-year-olds is anything but a censor-happy ogre out to destroy the intellectual culture of the nation.